"Make your blog funnier," says the wife.  Married gentlemen out there: when your wife "requests" something, just acquiesce.  It makes for less crying.  On your part, that is, once the beatings have stopped.  
Since she "asked" so nicely, here is a little something in the "food" category:
 
 
You should make me some ice cream! You can shake it...for as long as you feel like shaking!
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